Sign Me Up

     I have to be honest, theres been a lot of very unncessary life circumstances and junk Ive been sorting through personally for quite some time. Its pretty incredible and insane. Im always amazed at all the ignorance and belligerance that goes along with it and how crazy things can get when the real focus is lost. But through it I always continue to search and wait on God which is a very hard thing to do. No matter how long you have tried doing it. I dont think I dont think I ever signed up for this kind of torment and grief and am often wondering where all this is headed.

I as anyone else, have days when Im pretty much done with all the craziness and want to hand it over to someone else.  I was told the other day by a friend of mine that they wanted to read me something I needed to hear. Being totally open to any encouragement at the time they read from a book the paragraphs below......
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The bottom line is you have to let go of everything that might hinder you from going deeper into the abyss of the ocean that leads into the awesome of God’s love. We have cried out to God. He has heard. Now we have to wait and trust. It’s the final stage. The final moment where we finally admit out loud


“I can’t do this anymore. Take all of me.”

“What was that?” He asks

“That’s right God I have faith and trust in you to take all of me and do your thing. I’m done being in control and trying to figure it out on my own. I want to sink deep into your ultimate will for my life.”

Once you come to this point I can see that smile that breaks out across the face of God as He begins to prepare us for the next step. When we finally recognize God in all His faithfulness we are just beginning to see the phenomenal things he will be able to do from here on out with our lives. He’s shaping you into his perfect plan. God’s faithfulness has extended from the very beginning of creation to this very second you are reading this sentence and He has no reason to stop now. His goal is to develop a similar strong and long-lasting faith in us even if it takes longer then we ever had planned.

Have faith in God. When God seems far away, have faith in God. When you are feeling trapped, have faith in God. When I can’t take anymore and feel like I’m going to go ballistic, have faith in God. Personally I don’t like being stretched past my limits but if it brings me closer to God and deeper into his love then I am all for it. Sign me up. Stretch me and pull me until I’m so out of shape that I’m not even recognizable anymore. Stretch me into something new.
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I was blown away and all of the sudden some things started to make sense. Im working through being totally sold on the fact that God will take care of every situation how He wants it. Even if presently seems far from fair or realistic. In the end He's got a bigger plan that if we believe in and wait for will be pretty amazing. I also was blown away by the fact that the words read in these paragraphs, my friend reminded me, were from a book that I actually wrote!!  "Sinking Deeper". Words I felt strongly about not many years ago. I had no clue I'd be in this kind of place when I wrote them. I had no clue when I said SIGN ME UP! that I was probably saying literally .... sign me up! and here I am.

I dont like being stretched past my limits but if it brings me closer to God........

What was I thinking?

Really tho.

At least I was reminded what I need to continue doing. This is an opportunity as Ive known all along to grow really really really close to God.... and I need to soak up every minute and trust that in the end He's gonna set the matter straight and make things right.

Even if I dont like presently all thats going on.

So I say a bit reluctantly because Im still learning but I need to say it......

Im still signed up so.......Bring It on.